Monday, April 29, 2013

Rediscovered: An Ecstasy Remembered

My office occupies one of two attic rooms on the third floor of our house. The other attic room has accumulated God-alone-knows-what-all for a decade or more, and about a week ago I followed the impulse to start clearing out stuff that all reason says will never be used and no longer has value.

In the process, I am rediscovering long-ignored things that do have some value, including a journal from a time when I journaled sporadically.

Here's an entry from that journal, written at 6:30 am on Wednesday, December 5, 2001 (inspired by a device used by David Bradley in "The Chaneysville Incident," I headed each entry with a timestamp).

I saw this one day while I was in the tub. I was not sleeping, so it wasn't a dream; but I dare not call it a vision. It was simply something I saw.
I saw my life as a single thing. All of my past experiences, my present moment, and everything I do in the future were part of this one thing. From birth to death, it was all contained in a single strand of light.
The strand of light was no longer than a piece of thread, but as I watched, it grew even smaller, as if I were backing away from it. As it grew smaller, I saw more of its surroundings. But I saw those surroundings as I'd never seen anything before, for I saw both space and time. I saw not only the earth upon which I lived, but I saw times before my life and times after.
The strand of light continued to shrink - I saw stars and galaxies, and I saw millenia and eons. And the stars and galaxies shank, and the millenia and eons shrank, until I felt that I was beholding the entire creation and all of time, as a single thing. And as a part of that thing, my strand of light was so infinitesmal that it was barely visible.
Then creation itself, and all of time, shrank, and I saw it all enclosed in a crystalline globe, which was resting in the palm of a lady's hand. Not just a woman's hand; a Lady's hand. And I realized that I was viewing creation itself, and all of time, from that Lady's point of view - that I was looking through Her eyes. And I knew that, while She saw all of creation and all of time, She was looking at that tiny, tiny strand of light.
Then it became clear that I was not only looking through the Lady's eyes, but that I was somehow part of Her, for I found myself sensing Her movement, feeling Her emotion, and sharing Her thought. As we gazed upon that miniscule filament of light, I sensed a smile coming across Her face, and I smiled with Her; and I felt Her sense of amusement as She and I shared this thought:
"To think that I once considered THIS to be my life!"
Thus the hallucination, for want of a better word, ended; and here my telling of it ends, for I have nothing to add.

Remembering that challenges me never to forget.

Do I need to say that the Lady is the ecclesia, the Bride of Christ? Okay, then; I have.

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