On a recent grocery-shopping trip, I picked up a few magazines: Upscale, Uptown, Ebony. Doing my affluent Black culture thing.
As I started flipping through them, I saw this:
And this:
And this:
And within five minutes, I had a transformative moment: Suddenly, I was tired of seeing Black women with straightened hair. Gut-tired. Deep-down-in-the-bone tired.
What I said to myself was: "I don't care if I ever see another Black woman with straight hair in my life."
I ain't mad at Queen Latifah (come on - she's gorgeous) or anybody else for their choices. But I'm really, really tired of the assumption that Black women need to do all that much to their hair. I want Black women to wear the hair God gave them.
Wear it short. Wear it long. Wear twists, locks, braids or rock a downright dangerous 'Fro like Angela Davis or Roberta Flack did back in the day - y'know?
That feeling has been coming on for a long time, and there have been times when I have approached total strangers, women who do not know me from a can of paint, to thank them for wearing the hair God gave them. In fact, I did that just a few days ago. On Sunday afternoon, I volunteered at the August Wilson Center, helping to staff the ticket table for the performance of the HIV/AIDS-oriented stage piece, "Who Me?" I noticed that a security guard there was a lady with an Afro, and I told her about my transformative moment, and thanked her for her hair.
That night, for the first time in a long time, I watched the Oscars broadcast. When the camera panning the audience focused on Viola Davis, who was nominated for Best Actress for her role as Aibileen in "The Help," I noted that she was prettier than she looked in the movie - so much prettier that I didn't recognize her.
I didn't realize that I was watching a culturally significant moment, that Ms. Davis' appearance at the Oscars would be a matter of controversy. And by "appearance," I don't mean her being there. I mean the way she wore her hair.
Now, thanks to this piece by Kimberly "DrGoddess" Ellis, I've learned that there's a whole thing going about how Viola Davis wore her hair on Oscar night. Apparently, the always-bewigged talk show host Wendy Williams made disparaging comments about Ms. Davis natural look, comments that sparked an Internet firestorm.
Really, Wendy? In 2012, you have a problem with a Black woman wearing a natural hairstyle to a formal event, a hairstyle that even the L.A. Times said was "a hit"?? Really???
Dr Goddess (and on YouTube, beautifulEhuman) have responded eloquently as Black women. As a Black man, here's my ineloquent response: stuff a sock in it.
Black women, is there a Natural Hair Day? If not, let's declare one. Let there be ONE day out of the year when Black women everywhere feel free to wear the hair God gave them.
Who's in?
As I started flipping through them, I saw this:
And this:
And this:
And within five minutes, I had a transformative moment: Suddenly, I was tired of seeing Black women with straightened hair. Gut-tired. Deep-down-in-the-bone tired.
What I said to myself was: "I don't care if I ever see another Black woman with straight hair in my life."
I ain't mad at Queen Latifah (come on - she's gorgeous) or anybody else for their choices. But I'm really, really tired of the assumption that Black women need to do all that much to their hair. I want Black women to wear the hair God gave them.
Wear it short. Wear it long. Wear twists, locks, braids or rock a downright dangerous 'Fro like Angela Davis or Roberta Flack did back in the day - y'know?
That feeling has been coming on for a long time, and there have been times when I have approached total strangers, women who do not know me from a can of paint, to thank them for wearing the hair God gave them. In fact, I did that just a few days ago. On Sunday afternoon, I volunteered at the August Wilson Center, helping to staff the ticket table for the performance of the HIV/AIDS-oriented stage piece, "Who Me?" I noticed that a security guard there was a lady with an Afro, and I told her about my transformative moment, and thanked her for her hair.
That night, for the first time in a long time, I watched the Oscars broadcast. When the camera panning the audience focused on Viola Davis, who was nominated for Best Actress for her role as Aibileen in "The Help," I noted that she was prettier than she looked in the movie - so much prettier that I didn't recognize her.
I didn't realize that I was watching a culturally significant moment, that Ms. Davis' appearance at the Oscars would be a matter of controversy. And by "appearance," I don't mean her being there. I mean the way she wore her hair.
Now, thanks to this piece by Kimberly "DrGoddess" Ellis, I've learned that there's a whole thing going about how Viola Davis wore her hair on Oscar night. Apparently, the always-bewigged talk show host Wendy Williams made disparaging comments about Ms. Davis natural look, comments that sparked an Internet firestorm.
Really, Wendy? In 2012, you have a problem with a Black woman wearing a natural hairstyle to a formal event, a hairstyle that even the L.A. Times said was "a hit"?? Really???
Dr Goddess (and on YouTube, beautifulEhuman) have responded eloquently as Black women. As a Black man, here's my ineloquent response: stuff a sock in it.
Black women, is there a Natural Hair Day? If not, let's declare one. Let there be ONE day out of the year when Black women everywhere feel free to wear the hair God gave them.
Who's in?
8 comments:
Sorry - I ain't down for a day; I'm down for life! And while I'm at it, I am sick and tired of seeing discarded weave on the streets and sidewalks of our neighborhood. If it won't stay on your head, take that as a sign to leave it alone! *drops the mic and sashays away in righteous indignation.*
LOL! You won't get an argument from being down for life. My wife has been natural for years!
I was just trying to provide a point of entry for the more cautious :)
Loved your piece! Thank you for this!
@Anonymous(2) Thanks for reading!
Why must everyone equate natural to having an Afro? I'm hair is short and natural but I don't have a Afro. It's just naturally curly and many don't consider it natural. Whatever. And yes I'm 100% African American. I personally haven't Seen many babies born with Afros so I'm unsure how natural that is either. We must remember no matter what we do good or bad someone will have something to say about it. Love who you are and LIVE.
I remember being in high school and spending the night at my best friend's house. The next day, she was going to the hair dresser and I went along. What a cultural experience. I am a white girl with the straightest hair on God's green earth. You couldn't iron it flatter and you can't do anything to make it stay curly. When I was a little girl and the Black girls would be out on the stoop braiding each others' hair, they'd give up on me because nothing would stay. I can go to the hair salon and be out in under half an hour with wash, cut, dry, and bs-ing with my stylist. That afternoon I sat with Tamara for hours while Godknowswhat was put into her hair. It bewildered me then and bewilders me now. I couldn't understand why anyone would go through all that. I didn't see what was wrong with her normal hair.
While there definitely is a lot more cultural baggage dumped onto Black women in general, and about their hair in particular, the issue of natural vs. straightened hair is also part of the issue of women in general trying to shove ourselves into some plastic shape that doesn't fit us. I may be white with straight hair, but I don't see me when I pick up a fashion magazine either. Too many of my white women friends with wavy or curly hair spend ridiculous amounts of time and money doing various things to straighten their hair, meanwhile I think their hair looks great when they let it wave and curl. Curvy women want to fit into cigarette pants, skinny women fret about having no curves. Pale women want to tan, dark women want to be lighter. It's INSANITY.
Isn't part of the beauty of this world that beauty doesn't look the same? My friend from India with her dark, dark chestnut skin, chiseled features, ebony black hair and eyes is beautiful. My African -American fashion designer friend with her lovely fluffy natural hair that she wears pushing skyward or braided down is beautiful, as is my friend with straight corn silk yellow hair, spring green eyes and alabaster skin. I don't and can't look like any of them, but I have my own beauty.
I don't want any woman to feel like she has to fight so hard against what she was given to be beautiful. Let us see the beauty in what we have and learn to accentuate it with our intelligence, competence, confidence, compassion, and love. When that shines through, your choice of hairstyle won't matter so much. I want to live in a world where anorexic, miserable looking white women who have been airbrushed to Hell and back again are no longer the alleged "ideal" of what we're to look like, so yeah -- I'll be happy to see more Black women happy with the hair they came with!
As Traci said -- there will always be people who don't like how you look or who you are. Focus on loving yourself and being a person whom you respect and you will attract people around you who will also love and respect you.
Stay beautiful, my sisters!
Thank you my brother for writing this post. As you know, I have been wearing my hair in thick locks for 10 years. When I decided to stop putting chemicals in my hair, my family thought I had lost my mind! I cut out all the relaxer I had in my hair in 1992-1993. I began to wear my hair in a short fro and felt proud and liberated.
In 2002- I decided to go a step further and lock my hair. I love my locks. Wearing my hair this way has taught me the spiritual lesson of patience.
I get some funny looks and many ask me if this is in fact "all my hair". They are surprised when I answer "yes".
Power to the sisters who dare to wear their hair natural, in braids, twists, or locks. We need to make a statement. I'm locked and liberated.
In addition, wiggy Wendy should be ashamed of herself.
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